Mini Cooper Clubman: Is the joke wearing thin?
Where will Abigail Breslin be when she is 18? That unlikely thought that kept crossing my mind during the weekend I spent test-driving the Mini Cooper Clubman.
For those who haven’t been keeping up with sub-teen culture, cute-as-a-button Abigail was nominated for an Academy Award for her work in the title role of “Little Miss Sunshine,” and now, at age 12, is starring in the well-received new movie “Kit Kittredge: An American Girl.” The next few years could be difficult for her, though. Child actors often have a tough time making the transition to adulthood. For every Jodie Foster, there is a Tatum O’Neal.
The Clubman is the latest derivative of the Mini Cooper, which charmed enthusiasts with its retro styling and inspired performance when it was introduced in 2002. Besides becoming a huge success for its owner BMW, Mini has created a whole new segment for the U.S. market: the premium small car. More than 42,000 Minis were sold last year, more than Porsche, Saab or Jaguar.
But nothing lasts forever, and Mini’s new offering, the Clubman, felt like a afterthought to me, a watered-down version of the sparkling original. Mini’s over-the-top styling cues now exhibit more kitsch than the wit they showed when they were fresh six years ago. Inside, the instrument panel remains a cluttered, confusing space with cheesy plastic trim and hard-to-read graphics.
More important, the nine inches that have been added to the Mini’s overall length to create the Clubman have produced little in the way of functionality. Only 3.2 inches was gained in the passenger compartment, producing just a skosh more legroom to ease the discomfort of rear seat passengers. And the cargo door that has been added – on the passenger side only – to aid access is clumsy and cramped. There is more room in the luggage compartment now, but the barn- style rear doors make it difficult to access.
Some of the virtues of the original Mini remain: peppy acceleration, skateboard-like handling, top-drawer quality, and impressive fuel economy: 26 miles per gallon city, 34 mpg highway. But like everything else made in the UK these days, the Clubman gets expensive when British pounds are converted to U.S. dollars. The $23,450 base price on my test car quickly shot up to within a hair of $30,000 after including charges for such items as lightning blue metallic paint ($500), chrome line interior and exterior, ($500), and white turn-signal lights ($100). Makes you wonder how much the colored turn-signal lights would run.
The Mini concept remains intact: Create value in a small car by engineering in superior dynamics and by designing in an appealing personality. General Motors used exactly the same recipe in developing the 2008 Chevy Malibu. But it is time for Mini to stop relying on its cuteness. Like a child actress who finds it difficult to grow up, Mini needs to start behaving like an adult.
The MINI (and technically not Mini) has and will never rely on its cuteness. “Cute” is the last thing that comes to mind after you drove one of these street-legal go-karts. It may be a small/compact car, but that’s what makes it so fun to drive AND fuel-efficient.
Let’s wait to see this month’s sales numbers for the Clubman. Based on how hard it has become to get one of these, I don’t think MINIs have to grow up. MINI drivers never do…
With MINIs either you get it or you don’t. The author obviously doesn’t:
some of us do not want, nor need to drive the Titatic!
The Clubman still retains all the style, handling, reliability and fun of the Cooper, yet it offers the flexibility of some extra space – what’s so childish about that?
How does a writer who walks to work write a review without driving a vehicle?
Many of us Clubman owners have over 30 mpg on the 172 hp Clubman S.
That’s hard to beat.
I think he’s just jealous. Notice how he praises the Malibu? He probably owns a lot of stock in GM and is upset the the MINI is getting so much attention these days. Ever seen a GM with a three month waiting list? And for those of you who care about mileage, the manual Clubman is rated at 37 highway, though I tend to average over 39 with mine (42.7 is my best so far).
We’ve had our Mini Clubman for about a month. (Traded in a Honda Odyssey minivan!) We – family of 4, including a gangly 15-year-old boy – absolutely love it. Fun to drive, comfortable to ride in, great gas mileage. This is the first negative article I’ve ever seen about the Clubman. Alex Taylor III just doesn’t get it.
I can’t tell if this is an automobile review or an article that belongs in the actor gossip section. The Clubman compared to child actors and then saying that it’s time to stop relying on cuteness and grow up?
I was 1st on the wait list for a Clubman for 2 years! It is the best car I’ve had of the 13 new cars in my life including 4 BMWs (Z3, M3s, 330Ci convertible), Mustangs, Miata, etc. I am in love with the Clubman and will always drive a MINI. 30 mpg around town with the Turbo, comfortable for long trips and my Greyhounds can ride with me.
Sorry the writer was disappointed but it leaves more MINIs out there for those of us who love them.Thank you BMW for bringing us the best car ever.
The joke wearing thin appears to be on the journalists who are unable to get it.
Apparently the mainstream (read nationally syndicated) writers are too obtuse to realize that a MINI that retains all of the virtues of the original whilst becoming real-world useful is a slam-dunk. If they’re wondering what to look for as evidence of this aerial artistry, look no further than the waiting list for the Clubman. We’re talking 2-3 months for the S models…
“Taylor lives in Manhattan and walks to work.” Enough said.
I agree Bill..Here we are oil hitting $140 today, I wish I had a clubman instead of my Explorer. I checked them out last month, but dealer can’t keep them in stock.
Perfect commuter car in my opinion and they always catch your eye when they drive by. Not like your every day civic or toyota you see. Each one seems to have a different characteristic to them
I think the joke that is wearing thin is the gas prices. MINI obvious had the foresite to see a need for cars that get good MPG. Before MINI was a niche car and now has moved into the mainstream. See them really taking off, as there is very little as far as choices of high MPG cars on the market.
This review is written by someone not like what he personally is driving. Probably driving some big Esclade getting his 12 mpg. Anyone who has driven the clubman know’s that for a daily commuter it is the perfect car. Lay your golf clubs down fine, can fit passengers in the back fine, and get 30+ MPG along with good acceleration. If someone is going to do a review, at least be open minded. Now enjoy your big SUV and keep paying $120 fill ups every 300 miles.
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I own a clubman for a month now I love it have 2 kids and they call it the special car (3 and 4 year old). I drove it from South Florida to New York in 18 hours and 34 gallons of gas was comfortable the entire ride. I have had more people look at this car than any other car I have owned. This is by far the best car i have owned